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Jul 31

Dicks From Dildo – Canucks Consider Selling Their Cocks

Dicks from Dildo

Yes, it’s true, there is indeed a town called Dildo and this is where our story begins. The town of Dildo is where Carino, Canada’s primary seal skin processing plant is located. It’s where some truly backward ideas are hatched from people who are undoubtedly soft in the head.

Dildo

The latest of these ideas is about as inspiring as a pre-mature ejaculation and it amounts to pretty much the same thing. Before anyone decides to pick a bone with us, we need to point out that we harbour no hard feelings.

Dicks from Dildo

Contrary to what you may have expected, the Carino dicks from Dildo have no intentions of manufacturing artificial dicks. Sorry if you find this to be an anticlimax. However, if you like taking kinky from the extreme to the bizarre; from fur cuffs to blowing a seal, then the creative genius behind the latest proposal will fit you like a butt-plug.

Before we get there, we must warn you that this “proposal” is a hard swallow. Why’s that? Because it is based on hocus pocus, deceitful quackery and blatant mumbo jumbo; the specific intention being to exploit the gullible.

What is it all about?

The clever dicks from the Canadian Fur Institute, of which Carino is a proud and upstanding member, have fallen on some hard times. Apparently the business of cruelty is not as lucrative as it once was. Since 2009, the Neanderthal market has gone soft.

People no longer want goods from tortured animals. The idea of a lynx caught in a trap, thrashing around, tearing ligaments and lacerating its gums as it tries to bite the trap; is one civilised people find quite repulsive. Bludgeoning a wee seal to death, maiming it with a shotgun, dragging its bloody corpse across the pristine white ice is a notion that is equally vile.

So what cunning plan have the clever dicks from Dildo hatched? They intend to market seal cock as a natural alternative to viagra. Yep, you read that correctly. They expect you to believe that munching down on seal cock will give you a hard-on.

Dildo, Dion Dakins, seal penis, sex

Dion Dakins wants you to gobble seal cock to get a boner.

That is not the worst of it though. The clever dicks from Dildo want to sell their cocks to the Chinese. Surely, they have gone mad. Is China not already overpopulated enough? Do these clever dicks from Dildo really want to encourage further procreation?

The tip of the proverbial iceberg is that the clever dicks from Dildo haven’t one shred of scientific proof to support their claims of quackery. By exporting seal penis to the East for traditional medicines, Canada (and Namibia) are then both guilty of fueling an illegal international trade in animal body parts for fake medicines. It puts these nations on a par with the charlatans who promote the medicinal use of rhino horn.

Why not send the clever dicks an email? Carino –  office@carino.com, Canadian Fur Institute Contact Page 

  • Dicks from Dildo as Canucks consider selling cocks http://goo.gl/E2LG1P

Dildo, Chinese fur farms, Canada, seal hunt, Namibia, Hage Geingob

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